so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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