Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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