Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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