Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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