I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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