She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
