the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
