Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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