You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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