Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
