She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
