I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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