I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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