this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
