i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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