she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
