Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
