But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
