I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
