Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
