Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
