Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
