Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the raccoons are back...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
