PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
