were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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