Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize