id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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