you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
