I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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