she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
