You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
