it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
