You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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