things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
