You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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