i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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