we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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