Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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