FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
