Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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