Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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