i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize