I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
