she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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