I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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