garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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