I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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