also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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