I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
