Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
