Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
