Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
