Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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