It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
