i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
