I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
