somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize