U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
