I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
