So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
