you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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