Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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