Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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