I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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