Christians are straight up FREAKS
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
