So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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