i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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